Questioning Life

Our life revolves around questions. Think about it, from the time we enter this world and throughout our journey, it’s questions that carry us through. So, what are questions and how does a questioning life influence our journey. There’s a flip side to questioning when one is faced with a paradox of choice and the Maverick formula has helped us navigate better. We’ve done our fair share of questioning and had interesting experiences.  Join me on this  podcast as I share some of these experiences and my take on the most important questions one can ask as a Maverick.

Transcript

Questioning Life

Hello Everyone and welcome to the podcast of the Ordinary Maverick. This is Ajey, your host, an ordinary Maverick sharing real life thoughts and experiences and Maverick tips. If you haven’t hit the subscribe button yet, please do so, and you’ll not miss another episode.

So fellow Mavericks, have you ever reflected on how much our life revolves around questions? From the time one enters the world, the questions begin…right? Is it a boy, a girl? What’s the name? who do you look like? And countless more! Ha ha….and just see I’ve already asked so many questions myself!  Well, today’s podcast is about questions and living a questioning life. As I reflect back on my own life, having a questioning attitude, a curious mind has been so critical to shaping my/our life’s journey. However, one needs to be careful too. One can quite easily get overburdened with questions and there’s a thin line of getting paralysed to inaction or hasty decisions. One can ask so many questions and get so caught up with answers that you’re unable to ‘do’ anything. So when is enough enough? Well, here comes the Maverick formula’s first component, Go with your gut. Asking questions and getting answers is all good, but one needs clarity in mind to take action and fall forward. 

Let’s unpack this a bit more. In the dictionary a question is an utterance which typically functions as a request for information, which is expected to be provided in the form of an answer. A question can be a word or words used to find out information. And there are all the types of questions, they can be yes or no; alternative questions…is it this or is it that? You know giving options for answers. Then there are open questions, like what do you want to do tonight?  and leading questions, thought provoking questions, and so many important questions that one asks during the course of one’s life.

Asking the right questions at the right time in your life is a game changer. And of course it’s also important to see who is asking and to whom? I do believe that some of the best questioning happens within ourselves and will speak on that soon.

Before that, let me share some of my own experiences with the questioning bits and how that impacted our lives. It was questioning that bought us an apartment in the oh so coveted and difficult to buy area in the city of Mumbai many many years back. At that time, young people starting off in their jobs and life just didn’t have the capital to buy a house and there were limited mortgage options too. But it was asking questions during an elevator journey that led us to explore buying an apartment and a few months down the line we were proud owners of a home. It was a bit crazy actually. We happened to be in the elevator with one of the developers of the property and were visiting family who had recently moved in. Making conversation, we asked questions about the apartments and how were sales doing etc etc. And just like that,   came, well, do you’ll want to explore buying one? There were just a few available and the developer was keen to complete all the sales as soon as possible and willing to meet us half way in negotiating and finalizing sales. We kind of hit the jackpot in some ways, and believe me, we had no intentions of buying when we entered that elevator! But the right question, at the right time to the right person changed it all.

It was the same questioning nature that led our younger daughter to try out for the school water polo team while studying in high school in South Africa. Having recently moved from India, we were not at all familiar with water polo and had zero idea of what it was and entailed. In fact, India doesn’t play water polo. The only polo we knew was the one played on the field while riding on a horse back.

But our younger one went up and asked about the game in her school, did the try outs being a good swimmer and yay! She got selected in the team to commence practice ! In fact, when she came and told us, we had to get on to Google and read up about water polo! We met the coach and the manager of the team and shared our inexperience with the game and I must say they were extremely patient and just welcomed us in and were willing to answer all the crazy questions. And so were all the waterpolo team parents. Later, our elder daughter also did the try outs and made the team. So, both girls played water polo for their school and the province also known as a state in some countries and our younger one was in fact the goalie for her team. We learnt so much about water polo in those years, went to every match, all the practices and had many memorable get togethers, braiis (as barbeques are known as in South Africa) with the parents and the entire team, it was truly something. we also felt the pressure! Ha ha… You know water polo is a game where each team scores goals and it requires some major stamina, as one is treading water the entire time. Well, during the national tournaments, in one of the games…think it was the quarter finals or something…there was a penalty shoot out. The pressure on the goalies was intense and I never realized it, but the pressure on the g oalies parents was even more!! Ha ha. 

My wife was there during that game and as my younger daughter, our goalie prepared for the penalty shoot out with her coach and the team, all the parents gathered around my wife, giving her moral support and encouragement. It was bizarre. My wife always recounts that memory saying she now knows first hand the immense pressure a player faces on the field and what their families go through as well. And then when the shoot out started, that was it…it was almost as if the entire world had narrowed down to that pool and the ball and our younger one defending the goal.  phew…done !! what a game !! We won the game that day and the euphoria that followed was unbelievable. Our younger one was the Star of the day and we all went a bit crazy. Although the other team also played so well and my wife and daughter met the other goalie and her mom too who were super disappointed but kept the sportsmanship spirit up. Just shows how unpredictable life is…and a split second in scoring a goal can change the course of events. All the hours of training, all the early morning rises, the endless hours of building stamina, weekend trainings, eating right etc etc all paid off when the game was won that day! 
It's one of our most memorable memories from our time in South Africa. We are all richer from getting familiar with the world of waterpolo, so many learnings. I will speak of that more in another podcast.

For now, let’s get back to questioning and experiencing the Devil’s Pool! Yes, you heard it right, the Devil’s pool. This is at the Victoria Falls, the majestic water falls between Zambia and Zimbabwe and falls on the Zambian side. Well, we took a trip to the Vic falls, my wife and I, to celebrate our anniversary as well as our recent status as empty nesters. I’ve spoken about empty nests in a recent podcast – do check it out if you haven’t already done so.

Well, we’d always heard about the Vic Falls and how majestic, awe inspiring they were and that one must experience them first hand etc. But we didn’t know anything about the Devil’s Pool. We get there and once again, start asking questions. You know the right ones? Ha ha. And out comes the mention of the Devil’s pool. It’s a rock pool that’s formed after thousands of years of erosion and this one is at the very edge! So it’s a sheer drop and gives one an up and close and personal view of this drop off the side of the pools. Very much like an infinity pool only that it’s on top of a waterfall with a drop that’s unbelievably thrilling! Well, once we had asked the question and got to know about it, we just had to experience it. We were there at the right time, as the pool is only accessible for a few months in the year. We had to walk through rocks and swim in the Zambezi river to reach the pool and then by the sheer force of the water we were pushed to the edge! There’s a natural rock lip that’s there at the edge that stops us from going over….and the raging waters of the Zambezi just crash down over the cliffs while you just watch spell bound and with adrenalin rushing through your body. It’s impossible to describe the view and do full justice to the absolutely exhilarating feeling one gets as you feel the force of the Zambezi river flowing past you and crashing down over the precipice…a 100 meter drop! There’s over 500 million litres of water that cascades over the falls every minute so it’s quite something. A once in a lifetime experience and all because of the right questions asked at the hotel we were staying at when we arrived there.

But sometimes asking questions can lead you to a situation known as the paradox of choice. One has so many answers and choices that it can lead to even more confusion and ultimately inaction or even hasty decisions. And they then  land you in a situation that you’re not happy with.  Here’s a simple example, breakfast buffets at hotels…. You go in and ask yourself, what will I have for breakfast and then are presented with a wide variety of choices. Can get so confusing and you may end up taking a lot on your plate and not finishing or eating something that you’re not quite happy with and asking yourself later, oh why did I have that at all! Well, we’ve learnt over the years and have found a solution of sorts. We go in already mentally prepared as to what to eat. You kind of know what breakfast options there will be in most buffets, so we just pre decide and go in there and take just what we want. 

See that’s what I mean, do your own maths, your homework even as you ask the questions. It goes back to the first component of the Maverick formula, going with your gut and practicing mindfulness. Then question around. Or if you are questioning and get a lot of answers and stumble on new information, then again go back to your gut. Very important to have your own stability, and I mean mental stability here to wade through all the answers to your questions and not get bogged down. 

So, fellow Mavericks, I would like to leave you’ll with some food for thought here, what are the most important questions one can ask? There are innumerable books and articles written about life changing questions etc but I just want to share five. Of course, each to your own, and there’s no end to questioning…but these five questions bring out the Maverick spirit in me and hoping in you too! So, here goes, Question 1, when did you last try something new? Question 2, what do you wish you had spent more time doing five years back? Question 3, where would you like to go and why? Question 4, what is your number one goal to achieve in the next six months? And question 5, if not now, then when?

Do keep writing your comments and sharing feedback at ‘theordinarymaverick@gmail.com’ and follow me on Instagram #theordinarymaverick.  I love hearing from you. This is Ajey, signing off and wishing you have an amazing day and a super amazing year! Keep well. 

This podcast series was put together as a team effort from the Bhardwaj family.  Concept, design, title, researchers and reviewers: Ajey, Sanjana, Avantika and Niharika Bhardwaj; Script– Sanjana; Cover design – Niharika. All rights reserved.