Quest for Perfection!

We’ve all tried hard and perhaps also been guilty at some point in our life in our quest for perfection. Maybe the degrees of perfection vary from person to person? But is there something we know as perfection or is it a mirage? Is it really perfection that we seek or is it something else? Join me on this podcast as I share my take and my experiences in life, in the “Quest for Perfection”.

Transcript

Quest for Perfection! 

Hello Everyone and welcome to the podcast of the Ordinary Maverick. This is Ajey, your host, an ordinary Maverick sharing real life thoughts and experiences and Maverick tips. If you haven’t hit the subscribe button yet, please do so, and you’ll not miss another episode.

The quest for perfection…we’ve all been guilty of this at some point in our life. Perhaps in different degrees as some are obsessed with perfection in every aspect of their life and for some it just has to be the perfect dress, the perfect holiday, the perfect celebration, the perfect relationship and in some cases the perfect dish!

If I ask you to close your eyes for a moment….go on, do it and tell me which is that one dish, that one food dish that you absolutely LOVE and each time you eat it, it needs to be just perfect! Ha ha….am sure for most of us it’s some food or dish from our childhood. Life’s funny that way, we remember the weirdest things and a favorite childhood dish is always, always dear to us all.

Now if you’re lucky, you will be able to get your perfect favorite dish easily whenever you wish but sometimes that’s not always possible. Maybe the ingredients are not there, or maybe you don’t quite have the recipe. And you’re left dreaming and wanting this dish but no means to get it.

Well, what do you do? Ha ha - I’ve faced such situations…many times due to traveling and living in different countries. It’s funny how one starts wanting something just because it’s not quite easily available at the time. And this became even more pronounced during the COVID 19 pandemic as one couldn’t just travel or go out. We were pretty much on our own. I started thinking about this particular dish, often dreaming about it, so much so that both me and my wife started remembering and reminiscing of all the times we’ve had this dish and enjoyed it and how wonderful it would be to have this again …well, you get the drift. We were really missing it. And then one morning, I rolled up my sleeves and said, ok…this is it..let’s make it. 

And then started the research. Trying to find the perfect recipe, the little tricks and tips, everything that would make the dish as good as it should be. And you know what, it took many repeats, a few disasters, but ultimately, we did it! I will never forget sitting down for dinner that evening with a feeling of accomplishment and enjoying that meal with our ‘perfect dish’! We took pictures, shared these on social media, spoke about the experience with family and friends, some of whom were in awe that we did manage to make this dish….and all along we felt so happy, so accomplished. Quite the feeling, right?

But you know what, how many of us follow through and are true to all aspects in this quest for perfection in our lives? And is it really perfection we seek? Or is it that feeling of contentment, of accomplishment, of joy that we experience when we perceive we have something that’s perfect. That something can be tangible – like a dress, a dish or intangible, like a celebration, holiday, relationship. Like many of us, I’ve been guilty too. It takes reflection and a great deal of self-awareness to really understand the truth behind this quest for perfection. Think about it. Nothing is perfect. It’s what we have defined as perfect. And this definition varies from person to person and is completely based on one’s world view. And when this is not fulfilled, there comes the feelings of anger, of being cheated, of frustration and ultimately it starts affecting our health and our mental wellbeing. 

In fact, perfection itself is an illusion. When my girls were little, we went to one of those amusement parks where we entered the house of mirrors. I am sure many of you might have done the same and enjoyed the experience of seeing our funny images in these mirrors. In some one looks super thin, super fat, oblong, elongated, all types of images and we laugh and enjoy. But that’s not us…not really. We are not defined by our body image, by what we see in the mirror. Another fun thing we did with our girls was bake cookies when they were small. In part influenced by the country we were living in at the time, but it’s an excellent way of demonstrating to little ones that not everything needs to be perfect. We baked cookies from scratch and then gave them different shapes and decorated them. The cookies never turned out just perfect to look at. Meaning, the teddy bear shape didn’t quite look like one when it came out of the oven, but it tasted real good. That showed our girls that things don’t necessarily have to be perfect on the outside for them to be good on the inside!  We tried from early on to relay this message to our girls, do not look for perfection because it doesn’t exist. Instead enjoy the journey, the unpredictability, the uniqueness and see the beauty and the good in every situation and if nothing else, then the humor! As it’s said, laughter is the best medicine.  

But it’s easier said than done. And just like many Mavericks, I experienced the feeling of loss, discontentment when something didn’t quite go as planned, was not perfect as it was perceived to have been. And this was my own wedding. Ha ha! Yes, you know weddings are always special. Both for my wife and I and our families and friends, our wedding was much anticipated for many reasons. We both had a wide circle of friends and acquaintances and were both first born and that just added to the build up for the wedding. And of course, for the bride and the groom there is that anticipation, that excitement of ‘THE’ perfect wedding. But nothing went as planned. The actual day turned out to be one of the most challenging and difficult days that my wife and I have faced in all these years and it happened to be the day when we began our journey as a couple together!.  The perfect wedding turned out to be something so far removed that all one wanted was to leave the memory behind. BUT…and this is where the crux is. Yes, things went wrong and the ‘wedding’ wasn’t perfect….at least not the way we had envisioned it to be….but we emerged stronger from it. We realized that the perfection was in our mind and in everyone else’s too and all the mishaps that followed resulted from the notion of perfection.

The most beautiful thing that emerged out of that fateful day was our own strength of conviction in our marriage, in our commitment. Nothing and no one else seemed to matter. And its that conviction that has seen us through many ups and downs in the 27 years of marriage. It also taught us a life lesson. Do not look for perfection or chase perfection especially as its most often defined by others. There really isn’t anything like that. Enjoy the present and make it perfect for yourself. We also learnt that never ever give in to pressure. It’s a tough world, and we constantly live under pressure. Pressure from family, friends, workplace, pressure from within. Well, emerging from the shadows of our wedding day where whatever had to go wrong indeed did go wrong!....we promised ourselves that from now on we shall think through these pressures, not give in and make sure that everything we do should make us happy.

We’ve lived by this mantra and all I can say is that it’s working! It’s been rough sailing and navigating some troubled waters over the years but by focusing inwards and always continually moving forward, we’ve made it work. And what we have is unique. So fellow Mavericks, do not look for perfection. Instead focus on being unique. The world needs more of that for sure!

Write your comments, share your feedback, I would love to hear from you. This is Ajey, signing off and wishing you have an amazing day. Keep well.