Episode 104: Patience a virtue, is it?
Hello Everyone, and welcome to the podcast of the Ordinary Maverick. This is Ajey, your host, an ordinary Maverick sharing real life thoughts and experiences and Maverick tips. If you haven’t hit the subscribe button yet, please do so, and you’ll not miss another episode.
We grow up hearing about these sayings, and also learn about them in school. For example, ‘Patience is a virtue’.
Patience is a virtue, a phrase believed to have originated from the poem “Piers Plowman,” written in 1360 by English poet William Langland. It basically means the ability to wait for something without getting angry or upset. Quite a quality to have, right? I mean it’s so difficult to not get frazzled when things start going wrong or not quite as one expected and then in addition to remain calm and collected. Even more challenging. So it’s but obvious that those that can do so stand apart.
But quite honestly, there are times in our lives when yes, patience is a virtue and then there are times when it isn’t. let’s explore this further. So, when does one need patience. Over the years, I’ve learnt..sometimes the hard way but anyway, lessons are lessons, that things like completing a visa application..there’s no fast way there. One just has to be patient with the process and follow the instructions. Not just for completing the application but then patience is needed when you look for appointments too. Recently, we’ve heard of appointments being available after 2 years for visas. Imagine! The pandemic really created a back log. So what do you do here? Nothing…except have patience. And wait your turn.
Now being avid travelers and explorers at heart, we’ve had our fair share of filling in visa applications and I must say, it never ceases to amaze me. The amount of paperwork one has to put together, and not to mention, specific photos and details like listing all travel done in the last 10 years. Quite frankly, it’s many a times difficult to even remember all this! But again, what do you do….just be patient and complete the requirements. I recall when we were in Dhaka for example, our daughter was completing a visa application and a police clearance was needed. It was a bit complicated as we had only been in the country a few months and had to figure out how to get this done. We did manage though and the officials were very supportive but it was a process and required patience.
We’ve had similar experiences with doing bank work living overseas. One cannot go physically to the bank so you just have to rely on online systems or then call and try and get someone to help you out. Over the years, online banking has improved by leaps and bounds but wasn’t always the case and I recall the hours and hours of frustration when trying to get some banking done. Again, the only solution was patience. Although, I have to admit, we did get driven up the wall and our limits were tested many times, as we tried getting answers and sometimes had funds transfers held up which had other implications and it felt like we were in a nightmare trying to find ways to manage the situation.
Recently, we’ve had to exercise patience as we tried to set up doctor’s appointments in the US. I recall the feeling of disbelief when I called for an appointment for my wife who wasn’t well and was told that the earliest they could schedule was after 3 months! The only recourse was to go to urgent care and get the attention and care one needed. The so called regular appointments were months later.
Again, the only thing to do in this situation was to be patient.
And then I recall the feeling of being stuck in traffic. When we lived in Nigeria, we came across the term, ‘go slow’. Like someone would say, don’t go from that road as there’s ‘go slow’ there. At first, we wondered what that meant…but it was the ‘slang’ or the common terminology to share that there’s a traffic jam and that cars are moving slow there.
So one needed to avoid the ‘go slow’ areas, ha ha.
Fellow Mavericks, all the examples and experiences I’ve shared point to the fact that yes, one needs to have patience and having that is a virtue as one deals with difficult situations and most importantly, situations that are out of one’s control.
As Aristotle said, ‘Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet’. At the end of the frustrating period, one does get the results and the job done. So why raise your blood pressure? Right?
Well, speaking of high blood pressure, when are those times when one should not be patient?
Well, definitely in a medical emergency, you cannot lose any time. It can make the difference between life and death. Not that I want to be dramatic here, but that’s what it is. I’ve shared some of my personal experiences on this in earlier podcasts, when I was unwell and getting to the hospital and to medical care made all the difference. I’ve also heard, and I am very sure, you’ll have too, when people ignore signs and seemingly show patience or lack of urgency in seeking medical care. They feel, it’s fine. Let’s just be patient and the symptoms will settle down.
Doesn’t quite work like that. Right? For medical stuff, no patience. Just action. i am sure we’ve all had experiences with medical emergencies. Not something one would like to, but again that’s life and when it happens, you act. I recall our daughter was just an hour old and they had moved her and my wife to the room, I had gone to get something to drink for both of us. My daughter made her arrival in this world a bit earlier than envisaged and very quickly, ha ha..so we just acted and did what was needed with little prep. Well, when I come back to the room, both my wife and daughter are not there and I am like..what’s going on. It seems, our little one started choking a bit, possibly had aspirated during delivery and my wife, who’s a doctor, just picked her up and ran to the labour ward and used the suction there. All in a matter of minutes. Who knows what would have happened, had she not done that. We were fortunate and grateful that all was good but the point is ‘no patience’ at that moment. One doesn’t think in times like medical emergencies, right?
That was something I’ve been working on for a large part of my life, improving maternal health and preventing maternal deaths. My foray into the world of public health started with the experiences of becoming a father myself and then understanding the different challenges that are faced during pregnancy and childbirth. Initially experiencing this with the birth of my own daughters, both of which were unique and distinct events. Complications when those arose were handled and we are ever grateful for the care and support we had at the time. But for many women across the world it doesn’t quite pan out like that. And many lose their lives and or the lives of their child, either unborn or within a few days. Every maternal and newborn death is a tragedy. The last 2 decades of my life have been dedicated to changing this trajectory and bringing lifesaving care to all women, mothers and babies when and where they need it.
So definitely no patience here. In fact, one needs to continually build the sense of urgency amongst all stakeholders to keep the momentum going and not let up.
It gives me such a sense of pride and accomplishment when I see the progress made over the years and know that I have made some contribution.
When you’re working on a program improving maternal health - impatience was key. And then going in systematically in to bring about the change.
Another example of being impatient is when one is relocating and setting up a new home. Can’t be all patient here. At least we’ve found that the faster you get your basics sorted and get to know some of the neighbors, you feel more at home.
Yes, it requires effort no doubt. And one can get lazy. But mark my words, be impatient….move around, push yourself to get to know the place and believe me, you feel aligned and in sync much faster.
Fellow Mavericks, I’ve shared my take on patience. Patience is a virtue many a time, but it’s also good to be impatient sometimes. Context and having an eye on what you want to accomplish is the key here. And for that, remember the Maverick formula? It’s three key elements of, one, ‘Go with your Gut’; two, Be true and; Three, Fall Forward. And the importance of mindfulness for the first element of ‘going with your gut’. That’s the point. When one practices mindfulness and is in sync with your innerself, that’s when the decision of being patient or pushing forward becomes much easier. In fact, it just comes naturally.
May I invite you to take a moment, a deep breath and still your mind. Press the pause button and just be in the moment. Be mindful. Then the answer to the decision of being patient or not will come with ease and most naturally.
Do keep writing your comments and sharing feedback at ‘theordinarymaverick@gmail.com’ and follow me on Instagram #theordinarymaverick. I love hearing from you. This is Ajey, signing off and wishing you have an amazing day and a super amazing year! Keep well.
This podcast series was put together as a team effort from the Bhardwaj family. Concept, design, title, researchers and reviewers: Ajey, Sanjana, Avantika and Niharika Bhardwaj; Script– Sanjana; Cover design – Niharika. All rights reserved.